he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
