Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
