it hurts more in the daytime
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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