i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
accomplished twins. life is a go
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
