my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
