It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
