She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
