people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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