Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
