She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
