I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
