kristin has been a bad kristin
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
