that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
