Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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