come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
