I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
ttyl tear gas
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
