My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
