I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
