I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize