just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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