it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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