i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
