It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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