You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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