I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
