she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
