Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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