Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
