Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
