What a fucking waste of an outfit
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
