Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
