We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
