dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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