I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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