Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
