I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
