new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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