he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You took a bar mat shot.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
