I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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