Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
