Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
