You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
