So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
