yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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