Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
