And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just forgot I was standing up.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
