I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
