help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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