No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
