I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
