I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
